When someone cuts you off in traffic and it ruins your day who is it that is controlling that emotion? When your boss chews you out in front of a colleague and you feel embarrassed and your mood spirals who is it that is allowing it?
While these situations may have a catalyst, it is you who is allowing it to disturb your happiness. It really doesn’t matter what the situation is, the only one who holds the key to your happiness is you.
Happiness Is Fleeting
As you have likely discovered happiness is fleeting, and for some, it appears downright elusive. You may find it where you least expect and while it holds you tightly in its delightful grip for a while you soon realize it’s released you and found someone else to embrace.
During your childhood years, you probably had your hopes of happiness pinned on certain large events, such as your first job, your first car, high school graduation, the first day of college, your first big job, settling down with a spouse, having a child, or buying a new home. You would have experienced untold joy when you got there, but it was merely temporary. So, off you would go in search of the next event that would provide you with that moment of happiness.
You’ve been doing it wrong, though, because if the only things that offer happiness or one-off events and major accomplishments you will be unhappy for most of your life. We don’t live our lives on the peaks of mountains every day, we trudge through the dark valleys and must work hard to reach that peak, and that peak doesn’t come often. You can’t live a life where you chase moments of happiness; you need to build your happiness where you are.
Happiness isn’t found in an amazing job, a huge salary, the next vacation, or even a flawless marriage. However, if a delicious breakfast can make you happy, you’re in a better place. There is joy to be found in the simplicity of life, whether it’s enjoying a cold drink and the sun in your backyard or sharing dinner with friends, it provides happiness.
You might hate your job and it might even be for good reason. You might be fighting fire after fire in your relationship and struggle from paycheck to paycheck. You don’t feel as though you can be happy until you have a new job, more money, or even a new relationship. Not every happy person has a life that ticks all those boxes, though, so rather than agonizing over what you don’t have you should focus on what you do have.
How To Make Your Own Happiness
It sounds hard, and maybe it is… but it’s also not as difficult as you think. There are plenty of simple ways you can take back control of your happiness and lift your spirit.
When you plan your day, make sure that it includes something to look forward to, whether it’s a treat at lunch or pulled pork in the slow cooker. You can get joy from anything. Create a list of items that bring you happiness and include one of those items on your daily planner.
Make sure the things on your list can be easily done, some of the bigger items can be saved for special times. You don’t need to wait for random events to make you happy, you can create your own happiness.
Do you know what else can increase your happiness? Making other people happy through random acts of kindness or just offering a genuine compliment. It doesn’t take much to lift someone else’s day and in doing so you can give yourself an instant happiness boost.
One of the keys to achieving and maintaining a high level of happiness and joy is to be content with and grateful for what you have, instead of worrying about what you don’t have. Consider for a moment the person who spends a lot of energy wishing they had more money, or envying those that do, they cannot possibly be joyful or content, since they are not satisfied with what they do have. This does not mean that you should not set goals to achieve more, but simply being envious, or wishing will only create a pointless type of misery, that will inhibit feelings of happiness in your day-to-day life.