Human beings naturally seek validation. Being highly social creatures, many of us exist within different groups such as those we form with our family members, friends, coworkers, neighbors, religious centers, and beyond. Within these groups, we seek validation, or the reassurance that others accept and understand us.
Despite our need for social validation from others, there is another type of validation that is even more important – validation from ourselves!
When people validate themselves, they are accepting their own internal experiences, such as their thoughts and feelings. When we validate ourselves, we are validating our own values, self-worth, opinions and capabilities. Being able to self-validate is important for five major reasons.
Reason 1: Self validation helps ease feelings of intense stress and anxiety.
Self-validating folks experience a lot less stress and anxiety. The reason for this is rooted in self-acceptance. Because they do not struggle to accept themselves, their thoughts, and their emotions, they don’t feel excessive stress or anxiety due to their life experiences.
Self-validation involves accepting that different factors can be at odds with each other. For example, a person can experience an uncomfortable emotion about something they know is wrong – self validation allows them to accept that something wrong happened and they’re having an uncomfortable emotion because of it.
Both of these factors can exist in their lives at the same time, and because they’re able to self-validate and explore their feelings nonjudgmentally, the person can process their feelings accordingly without allowing it to brew stress and anxiety.
Reason 2: Self validation makes it easier for you to experience self-empowerment.
Self-empowerment is easier when you’re able to self-validate. Because a self-validating person accepts themselves for who they are, they are more comfortable taking charge in their own lives.
A self-validator isn’t caught up in not understanding themselves or what they really want out of life. They feel confident enough in their abilities to identify what they want and go after it. If and when something doesn’t work out exactly as they hoped, they don’t let it derail them – they accept that what they tried didn’t work and then begin to seek a new solution.
This doesn’t mean self-validating people don’t experience some doubt and confusion about what they want in life. It does mean that they’re able to explore these feelings and accept them as a part of their life experience.
Reason 3: Self validation helps you achieve self-acceptance.
People who self-validate accept themselves for who they are. They understand that being a human being is a complicated experience, and they’re going to have experiences and thoughts that don’t always mesh well with their values and beliefs.
When these experiences and thoughts happen, the self-validated person will remind themselves of who they are, accept that something uncomfortable happened, and then move on from the incident. They don’t allow their image of themselves to change – instead, they embrace who they are and what happened as two points of fact.
Reason 4: Self validation helps keep your emotions in check.
People who self-validate are great at keeping their emotions in check. This does not mean they don’t experience a lot of emotions. Like everyone else, they are prone to the same ups and downs of daily living and experience a wide variety of emotions.
However, a person who self-validates is able to keep their emotions under control. For example, when something really upsets them, a self-validating person will allow themselves to process and accept what they’re feeling without allowing it to completely take control over their thoughts. Instead of bottling the emotion, ignoring it, or allowing it to ruin their day, they process it so they can move forward from the feeling.
Reason 5: Self validation helps you understand that your emotions and feelings are complex experiences that don’t necessarily reflect who you really are.
When a person is able to self-validate, they understand that they will experience an extremely vast array of emotions, thoughts, and feelings. They also understand that some of those emotions, thoughts, and feelings will really surprise them.
For example, a person who self-validates well may have a thought that goes against their usual beliefs and values. They may be shocked that they had the thought and how they feel about it.
However, rather than allowing themselves to get stuck on the thought and how it’s making them feel, they remind themselves that they’re human, and humans sometimes have really complicated relationships with lots of things in their lives, and that can make thinking and feeling complicated, too.
Rather than allowing their emotions to run rampant, they self-validate by reminding themselves that it’s okay to feel what they’re feeling and then move on from it.